"Evil Lord Krang from Dimension X-tropia"
Although I'm not limiting this pop culture section of the site to Transhumanist or Cyborg related content, I feel this topic does fits naturally in X-tropia. I'm talking about Krang the villianous brain from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Krang, for all intents and purposes, is a cyborg. He is living brain tissue in a robotic, or android shell. So I am pleased to discuss with you why I love Krang so much.
Well, just look at him! Krang is a talking, bloated brain with a face. How cool is that? Then, once he got his android body he became a bloated brain in some half naked guy's stomach. Also, Krang was pivotal to the TV show. He was the mastermind behind all the best plots and power schemes that the Turtles had to face. If it wasn't for Shredder and his bumbling goons the plans probably would have succeeded too. I was always rooting for Krang even though he was a bad guy. It didn't matter that he was an evil, power hungy dictator from another dimension. In fact, it made me love him all the more.
First, let us take a moment to reflect on Krang's voice. On the cartoon show the majority of the time (over 130 episodes) Krang was voiced by the talented Pat Fraley. Occasionally you'd get someone filling in for Pat to do Krang's voice though. The result was not as satisfying and lacked the same authority. On a side note, the same thing happened when the wonderful James Avery didn't do Shredder's voice. Imagine you're grandmother, with a bad cold, and laryngitus trying to talk like Shredder. Not at all as it should have been. That's almost as bad as some one else doing Darth Vader's voice for part of the movie. Just doesn't kut the koolaid Krangalicious!
If any of you were lucky enough to have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle comic book with read along audio cassette, then you got to hear another take on Krang's voice. Besides looking different, this comic book Krang had a whole other sound to his voice. This Krang was not as perfectly high pitched and squeeky as Pat Fraley's Krang. And there was an absence of any intermitent gurgling and belching we all enjoyed coming from the cartoon series Krang. Instead, the comic book audio cassette Krang had a raspy deep voice. It was sort of a combination of Satan and the Dark Lord Sauron with a dash of Dirty Harry. The Krang in this comic/audio appearance was also more subdued than the crazy cartoon version that I loved. To demonstrate here is a comparison of how the two Krang's respond differently to waking up in their new android body.
Subdued Comic Version
Krang "Where am I?" grogily. "Oh, I'm in my new body." yawn.
The Cartoon Series Version
Krang "Where am I?" "I'M IN NEW BODY, AaaHAhaaahaaHAAAhhaa!!!" he giggles and squeels triumphantly flailing his tendrils so fast that they blur.
It was moments like this one that made me fall in love with the cartoon Krang. I longed to grab him in my arms and squeeze him, Elmira Duff syle, until his little eyes bulged.
The toys Playmates made of Krang were wonderful too. It was early on in my love of TMNT that I got the Krang action figure. He was only the fourh TMNT action figure I procured. In fact, at that point I had only watched the cartoon a few times and don't think I had seen Krang yet. I remember exactly how I got the Krang action figure too. I had been sick with chicken pox. I was sofa ridden, itchy, and bored. My Dad came home from work and presented me with a surprise get well gift, the Krang action figure! He even said, "Look this guy is neat, he's a big brain in a bubble." Sure enough he was, and my itching stopped immediately as I held it in my hands. It came with the pod-like walker with robot arms and "brain draining" gun. I used to make him suck out Michelangelo's brains several times a day. Plus, the hole in Krang's ass made him an ideal finger puppet.
Years, and several waves of Turtle toys, later, Playmates finally released the long anticipated toy of Krang's Android Body. It was nearly three times the height of the other Turtle figures, and totally to scale for the existing Krang figure. It even came with its own little Krang fig to put inside the Android's robo-tummy. By the way, what is with that outfit he wears. Red briefs and silver shoulder pads? Is that the fashion in Dimension X? I love typing out Dimension X. Hehe
After getting Krang's Android Body toy I was hoping they would come out with a super-sized Krang, like he was after using the "Molecular Amplification Chip" in "The Shredder is Splintered" cartoon. That toy would have to be at least three feet tall to have made me feel like it was true to the show and to the scale of the other toys. Alas, they never made that toy. One could take a "My size Barbie Doll," shaver her head, put some silver shades and red briefs on her, gut her out and put a PlayDough Krang in her stomach. That would be sweet. If any of you have said items, and the time to devote to such an endevour, do it and take pics of it. I will put in on the site.
Every fellow Ninja Turtle obsessed child in my grade school loved to do physical reinactments of the show on recess. Most of them just did goofy karate chops and kicks while saying "Heee-Ya" a whole lot. I craved more substance, story and plot to our games. Not surprisingly, I always wanted to play as Krang. That way I would come up with the plot for the others to combat. Krang was my favorite character, and as the other kids soon found out, I was the one who could do the Krang voice best.
For the purpose of these epic play battles, it had been mutually established that the large wooded fort in the school yard was really the Technodrome. And so I would hang out there plotting to wipe out the Turtles, steal some power source, or kidnap whichever girl we talked begrudgingly into playing as April O'neil. When the guys pretending to be the Turtles, or other good guys tried to infiltrate my fortress I would hulk around like Krang in his Android Body and yell death threats in between fake belches and gurgles. If they really pissed me off, I'd just whip out my imaginary "Molecular Amplification Chip." Climbing to the top of the wooden fort I'd explain that I had grown to 60 feet tall and that they were about to face the "Wrath of Krang!" Unlike the wimpy cartoon, I as Krang often won and the Turtles became soup. Ah yes, it was great.

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