Strawberry Shortcake

Readers of X-tropia soon realize that I am a child of the 80'.s So I'm often compelled to write about the things I remember about growing up during that era. And lucky for me my sister was also a child of the 80's only a little bit older than me. So through her I got to witness another perspective of pop culture.

One such example is how my sister loved Strawberry Shortcake. She had all the toys and the dolls, and even the Peculiar Purple Pie Man action figure. I also vaguely remember watching the cartoon show with her once. The plot was how the Purple Pie guy wanted to melt Strawberry Shortcake and her friends into gold. No wait, that was Gargamel and the Smurfs. Oh well, I'm sure he wanted to bake her into a pie or something. Either way it was a bloodbath.

Recently over the past few years companies have been bringing back old licensed properties like Strawberry Shortcake. Only they look slightly different and I guess you could say updated to contemporary tastes. For example, Strawberry Shortcake's hat in the new cartoon is a helluva lot smaller than the original cartoon version. That old hat she wore was bigger than the Goodyear blimp. Still, the new Strawberry looks young and cute. But one wonders (me probably being the only one) what if toons did age. Hence my new series. Drumroll please!

"Toons - Where are they now"

And if you think I swiped that from VH1, that's impossible cuz I never watch that channel, MMMkay!

Where is Strawberry Shortcake now? Here is the way I see it. Strawberry Shortcake is retired and lives in Boca Ratan with her many many cats and a fortune glommed off of a series of wealthy ex-husbands. She's a chain smoker and spends her days reading Cosmo and sipping Sangria by the pool.

Well this is just my parody of what she'd be like nowadays. Lucky for all the little girls and boys out there she is still a young, disgustingly sweet, cavity inducing, American sweetheart with a fruity fashion sense and a bevy of "berry" beautiful sidekicks.